


Evangelion Divergence - New fish old pond

by Village_outsideR



Series: Evangelion Divergence [1]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, F/M, Fear of Death, Isolation, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Mental Instability, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 03:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20351662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Village_outsideR/pseuds/Village_outsideR
Summary: This is just a fic i threw together, its basically an alternate time line where a self insert character i made up is a transfer pilot from America to Japani'm hoping to make this a series, im gonna try and keep the angst of EVA in it but i'm gonna add more slice of life happy momentsSo run down, Nathan is the sixth child sent in from America to join Nerv operations in Japan, but he has no interest in being there or meeting his fellow pilots. He'd rather be anywhere else, but once he meets pilots Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami will he want to stay or will he leave? And more importantly what purpose does Gendo Ikari have in store for the children?





	1. 1

The jet rumbled as we entered Japan’s airspace, even though it was a small private jet I sat in the very back staring outside the window. Watching the clouds lazily drift on by floating above a red sea. “We’re about ten minutes away from our destination sir. Your pickup should already be there… welcome to Japan.”

I didn’t bother replying, the pilot could have said anything to me, and it would still just float past my ears. I was still thinking over the two words that were pinned to me now forever, sixth child. That’s what people had been calling me for the last few years of my life, still though. Why were they calling me the sixth if the fourth and fifth children weren’t known yet?

Maybe they were already picked, but they weren’t on active duty yet. Still why was I being sent in from America to Japan? True America’s EVA program was piss poor, but even Germany had one decent pilot, better to leave things unquestioned, I guess. Knowing these Nerv government types I’d probably never get a straight answer. Looking down at my tray I saw the files of the pilots I’d be working with Rei Ayanami and Shinji Ikari… I already didn’t think much of them from what I had read.

I just thanked god that the heads of Nerv had respected my wishes and didn’t leak my name and info out to them. The last thing I wanted was for the each of them to be waiting at the airport for me or trying to be my shadow, taking every opportunity they could to get to know me and be buddy-buddy all because we were working at the same place.

“Alright son put your tray table up, we’re beginning our descent.”

Slamming it back into place I shoved the files into my bag, who knew in less than fifteen minutes the entire landscape could change. I saw nothing but green luscious forests covering mountains and a military air base my first stop here in Japan before heading on to Tokyo 3. Halfway around the world from all the things I knew and barely liked, how was I gonna fare here I thought… the worse part was is that they were making me go to school. 

Jeez, the world’s already half over what was the point of sending me to school. Why couldn’t I just live on the base and do nothing until they called me up to fight the angels? Still if it was between doing nothing but staying in my room staring at a computer or tv screen, I’d rather go to school plop down in the back and see the forever lasting summer slowly creep by the window.

As the plane banked and began its descent, I took out my MP3 player from my pocket, plugged in and shut off the world. Who was supposed to be picking me up again? Some lady called Misato Katsuragi, I wondered what she would be like.

I heard through my old US handler that apparently, she had been wanting me to move in with her and the other child she was already rooming with… Shinji Ikari. I wondered how that would play out, still I denied it. I just wanted to be left alone, so they put me up in a group of apartments somewhere in the city near where Misato lived. Apparently that Rei Ayanami girl also chose to live alone.

The sound of screeching and burning rubber cut through the sound of the smiths and made me snap my head back up, out on the tarmac in the distance was a small figure standing next to a tiny blue dot. Slinging my backpack over my shoulders I unbuckled and held the armrests tightly as the plane finally slowed down and eventually stopped quickly grabbing my two duffels ignoring anything the pilot could have said to me, I was already here, and I just wanted to go back. Not home, anywhere in the US would work… they could have just dropped me off in Alaska and I could have been happy. 

The door popped down and I was greeted by the lady, “Hello and welcome to Japan! I’m guessing you’re the sixth child Nathan, right?” Taking out the left earbud I replied back with, “Uh- Yeah that’s me. I’m guessing your Ms. Misato Katsuragi?”  
“Please, just Misato is fine. Now c’mon let’s get you settled down and give you the grand tour of our beautiful city. Just throw your bags in the back, maybe if we get enough time, I can see about getting Shinji and Rei together for a welcome dinner party.”

Getting inside the small car I just replied with, “Thanks… but no thanks Ms. Misato, I’m kind of tired you know. Jet lag and all that stuff, I’d rather just get settled in.”

She looked a little disappointed at me, or was she just upset. Did she expect me to be a social butterfly like the other two probably were, why was she thinking about throwing me a party anyways? “Well okay then, if you’re feeling better later just give me a call.”

“I don’t have your- “

She cut me off and lightly tossed a black cell phone that fell into my lap, picking it up I saw that it had a few contacts already put into it. “Well now you do.” She gave out a light laugh, “And hey if not today maybe some other day. I’m sure Shinji and Rei would love to meet you. Besides the better friends’ you guys are the better the three of you will fight together.”

I didn’t bother replying to her, I just mumbled thanks for the phone and shoved it into my pocket turning my attention towards the window. Shinji… Rei… two names that barely meant anything to me, just two ID photos were the only things I could match up to them. How could I ever be real friends with people who under no other circumstances I would ever have a chance of meeting. If the second impact never happened, mom and dad wouldn’t have died, and I’d never have been selected for the EVA program. The three of us would never have met, we wouldn’t have even known about one another’s existence. 

We’re only gonna be friends because of a cosmic chaotic coincidence. Besides if everything went right, I’d be out of here soon, one way or another this war with the angels is gonna end, me and unit 06 would be forgotten and just gather dust… ideally the reality is I’d probably die here. 

No angels in the US just meant walking around in the EVA testing its systems and occasionally playing around with its weapons, had to justify all those tax dollars somehow, I guess. At least they’d be paying me here I thought. “Well here we are! Home sweet home.” She said in a sing songy voice, looking up I hadn’t even noticed that we were at my apartment complex, I didn’t even notice the battery in my MP3 had died.

She could have had a full one-way conversation with me, and I probably didn’t notice, in fact seeing who she was so far, she just might have. “Here let me help you get settled, then we’ll swing by the school. You know it’s funny I think you live exactly in between where Shinji and I live and the place where Rei lives. I’ll say this though just looking at the outside of this place it looks way nicer than where I live. You picked this place out right?”

“Yeah, I had Nerv get me a place here and leave some stuff. So, all the basics are already there. The rest is up to me to get.”

“Well it looks like you have an eye for real estate I can’t wait to see the inside of it.”

Boy I wish she didn’t say that, even though the outside of the place looked nice. The inside was in shambles, the whole place had a dull dark green tint to it, whatever paint was left was peeling off until nothing, but the bare concrete was visible. There was the persistent smell of wood rot and the dripping sound of a leaking pipe, “Well… it’s certainly homely. Just call it a fixer upper. Are you sure that you maybe don’t want to live with me and Shinji, looks like to me you packed light and there’s plenty of room.”

God, she’s persistent. “I’m sure Ms. Misato besides, if all goes right and we win this thing quickly I don’t plan to stay here long.”

“Oh, well okay. Hey, let’s check out your room and see what your digs look like.” I winced at that word, who still used digs I wondered. But if the hallways and interior of the building shocked her, I wondered what the inside of my room, walking inside it looked as if someone had wet charcoal until it was a grey dull paste and then rubbed it all over the room.

Stacks of dishes and utensils sat by the sink still in their packaging, a tatami mat and futon mattress were stashed in the corner, the only nice pieces of furniture were a couch still shrink wrapped, a wooden desk with a tv and laptop placed on it. And an empty wooden bookcase, “So you’re a minimalist I see.” She said nervously pacing around the room looking at everything, “No I just got them to send the bare essentials, besides I’d rather furnish my room myself.”

I walked ahead of her and dumped my bags in the closet, trading them for a broom and dustpan, “Well thanks for the ride Ms. Misato, but I think I should stay here and clean the place up, I didn’t expect it to be this bad.” As I began in one corner sweeping up dust and other tiny bits of trash, I heard her say, “Oh, well I’ll leave you to it, I can send Shinji by later with your school work, and hey maybe by the time he gets here you’ll be done. It’s the weekend you should go out with him and have fun, you’re only young once.”

“Maybe yeah, I’ll think about it. But I’d like to spend the night alone, get my bearings myself.”

“Well I hope you’ll change your mind.” She giggled for a second, I turned and looked at her as she used her hand to try and stifle her laughter, “What’s so funny?” I asked a bit worried, “Oh, it’s nothing… you just remind me a little bit of Shinji. He’s a loner as well. Before I forget here’s your security card.” It settled with a soft clack as she placed it on the kitchen sink.

She turned to walk away her heels clicking against the floor just as she reached the door she turned around and said, “You know Nathan, a place is only as good as the connections we form with the people there. Trust me it’ll do you good to hang out with Shinji and his friends.”

With that she left, I returned to cleaning not taking a break to stop until the sun seemed to be going down. Grabbing a black undershirt and pant, a white button up and black sneakers I figured less people would try and interact with me if they saw me dressed as just another student. Slipping the ID into my wallet I went off to find some dinner, and just as I walked out of the door voices crept up the stairs.

“Oh, man another Evangelion pilot here! I wonder what he’ll be like. What do you think his EVA will look like Shinji? I looked through my dad’s files but couldn’t find anything on him, not even a name.”

“He’s probably another whackadoo Kensuke. I mean have you seen this place. Yeah, no doubt only people screwy in the head can pilot the EVAs. Except you obviously Shinji. So, no hints at what this guy’ll look like?”

“No… Ms. Misato said apparently he didn’t want us to know what he looked like or anything about him until he met us. I just learned his name barely today, Nathan Rico from Texas.”

Tiptoeing to the opposite flight of stairs I slipped behind the corner and peaked out and saw Shinji Ikari and in tow two others, one kid in a school uniform with glasses on and the other was in a track suit. “What’s with all the mystery you think?” the glasses one asked looking around for any signs of life.

Shinji knocked on the door patiently waiting for a response, “I don’t know, Misato said he seemed like an uptight and private person. That it felt like he was just uncomfortable to be around people.” He tried the doorknob and found it was still locked, “I dunno man, I’m getting serial killer vibes off this guy and I haven’t even met him yet.”

“C’mon Toji, we haven’t even had the chance to meet him yet.” The glasses one spoke up in my defense.

“Whatever Kensuke, let’s just hurry up I’m starving.”

“Fine… doesn’t look like he’s here anyways.” Shinji just shoved the packets in the mail slot, “Alright mission accomplished lets go eat!” Toji pumped his fists in the air and took off for the stairs with Kensuke following behind. Shinji stood there for a moment, maybe he felt my eyes on him because he looked in my direction, but I ducked behind the wall before he could see me. 

It was only after I heard his footsteps retreating did, I come out and walk out of the building. Well if there was an understatement it was about Tokyo 3’s night life, I guess when you’re at the center of the end of the world people are more inclined to live it up. I just wish I had my player with me, everything was just too loud.

Walking down into the city I finally found a small ramen shop, just as I thought it would be nice to sit down, I heard their voices again. “So, Shinji tell us what’s going on between you and Ayanami?” 

“Yeah Shinji tell us, it seems like you guys have been hanging around each other more often.”

“T-t-t-there’s nothing going on between us! We’re just friends.” He didn’t say that so much as almost yell it, because after that most of the customers were staring at him. Noticing how much attention he called on himself his whole face turned beet red.

“Hey, son what can I do for ya?” the old gruff cook barked at me. 

“Oh, just give me two of the spicy seafood ramen bowls… to go.” After giving the man my money, I sat down in a corner, trying to listen in on the trio’s conversation. “C’mon Shinji you can tell us, besides you’re like the only one she talks to in school.” Kensuke smiled nudging Shinji with his shoulder.

“Yeah Shinji c’mon we’ve seen the way you look at her.”

“Gah! Toji, Kensuke you guys are impossible.”

Chuckling Toji backed off from teasing his friend, “Alright, Alright. So, there’s really nothing you know about this new pilot that you can tell us?”

“No honestly guys, I think I know more about Rei than him.”

“Well who knows Shinji maybe after a while he’ll warm up to us. Oh man imagine being friends with two EVA pilots. Hey Shinji if there’s ever an opening for another pilot you think you and this new guy could recommend me?”

“I’m not sure how they select the pilots, but yeah if that’s all it takes.”

I zoned out from there, I tried to imagine what it would be like if I walked up there and introduced myself to them, the conversations we could have had other little things. But once my order was called up, I just took the food and went back home, putting one of the buckets in the fridge to eat later I leaned against the counter eating the other.

I didn’t bother to shower, I just changed and flopped onto the mat. I didn’t fall asleep until almost one in the morning, it didn’t bother me I had nothing to do tomorrow.

At NERV HQ  
“So, Misato what do you think of the new recruit so far?” Ritsuko Akagi asked Misato, putting out another cigarette before taking a sip of her coffee looking over the notes of the sixth child. Before them in the cage towered the EVA unit 06, it was completely black with orange designs and a single red slit for an eye and at the back of its head it had five pieces that curved upwards making it look like some kind of demonic crown. Misato felt slightly uneasy looking at it, even after seeing unit 01 go berserk this one just standing there sent shivers up her spine. 

“I don’t know, he reminds me of the worst qualities of the old Shinji and Rei. It seems like he tries to avoid meeting people at all costs and he’s always in his own little world, trying to avoid everything and everyone at all costs. He doesn’t even seem to be interested in meeting the others, even Shinji has Toji and Kensuke and it looks like him and Rei are warming up to each other.”

“Give him time Misato, besides you have to remember he’s living halfway around the world from everything or everyone else he once knew. It might just take him a little bit of time to adjust. Besides from these documents it seems like he was always a little guarded or a bit tightly wound. Someone who’d probably be happier living alone away from everyone else.”

“I guess both he and Shinji don’t really make friends that easily. That’s one thing they share, except Shinji is willing to accept people’s help.”

“But at least Shinji seems to give people a chance, this Nathan just seems like he intentionally isolates himself there’s a difference in being shy and actively avoiding interacting with people. By the look of it, it seems like he only interacts with people only when necessary. But from the data his synch rates look fairly impressive.”

“He did seem like he was trying to come up with any excuse he could to not have to meet Shinji and Rei. But there was something else to it… I just can’t place what it is though.”

“I’m sure he’ll work his way through it. He can’t avoid meeting them forever, especially since they’re transferring the second child here from Germany.”

“What? They’re transferring Asuka? Why?”

“No idea, they just are.”

“You think Commander Ikari knows something we don’t know?”

“Who knows Misato, maybe he’s just trying to get all the eggs in the basket.”

“Maybe… but Ritsuko have you at least heard about the identities of the fourth and fifth children yet?”

“No, none of us have. If anything, the Marduk institute is keeping their identities in the dark until we need them.”

Looking back at the EVA they felt like it was eyeing them, as if it knew they were talking about Nathan behind his back, and each word or half-truth they thought about him was just getting it madder and madder.

“Well I’ve got to get back to it Misato. We have a lot of things to get ready for the synch testing tomorrow.”

“Fine then, I’ll see you later. We should get a drink sometime or have dinner, maybe we can try and get the kids all together for a meal. Try and get them to bond.”

“I’m not sure Misato, maybe if it’s just the two of us. I’m not sure we can force them all to have a relationship together.”


	2. 2

The sun was barely rising when I woke up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes I figured I’d lay in bed for another hour or two, but before I could put that plan into action, I heard a high-pitched ringing sound. The noise was so jarring that it made me snap my eyes open and sent a quick surge of adrenaline through my body, rummaging through my clothes from last night I searched for my phone. 

Finally finding it I saw that Misato was calling me, answering it and holding it up to my head I could hear her before the phone was anywhere near my ear. “Good morning Nathan! How are things?”

“Well I just woke up, and I have nothing to do. And that weird smell in my apartment hasn’t cleared up yet.”

“Aw, well I’m sure things will work out. And as for not having anything to do today, guess what. You get to do your first synch test with us, we’re sending someone over to pick you up.”

“Alright, just let me get showered and dressed. Shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes or so.”

“Great! Can’t wait to introduce you to the rest of the family.”

I hung up after that… family. That word was sticking deep in my mind, why did she say that? Were we really a family, was there even a chance we’d be friends? Pushing that thought away I figured I’d better not waste any more time and should get the day going. I flung my clothes into the laundry bin, grabbing an identical set of clothes and setting them on the bed, or the mat, futon thing. 

Pulling a fresh towel from the closet I didn’t bother to close the door, I just hopped to the shower cranking the knob all the way on the hot setting. I docked my MP3 to its speaker, turned the volume up as far as it could go and played Worst Party Ever’s things change. Getting done with my bathroom routine I hopped in the shower.

Standing under the hot water singing along to my regular music playlist or as it was known back home the “super emo playlist”, I felt the most relaxed I had ever felt in a long time. Just as the player was finishing up Brand New’s play crack the sky I swore for a moment I heard something out there, in my room. I just brushed it off telling myself I was hearing things. 

No doubt it was just nerves from living in a new place. Letting out a long-satisfied exhale I shut the water off, running my hands through my hair brushing out the excess water then I flung the shower curtain open and my heart skipped a beat then it felt like it stopped dead.

Standing out in the middle of my room staring at me, was a pale girl with blue hair and intense mesmerizing eyes that looked like they were made of rubies. All time stopped, we must have made eye contact for almost a full minute until she said in a small flat voice, “If you don’t get dressed soon, we’ll be late for our synch testing.”

“What?”

“I don’t think you can go out there dressed like that.”

Looking down I immediately realized my situation, letting out a high-pitched yelp I grabbed the towel that was hanging on the rack with such force that the rack itself was almost torn off from the wall. Just as I brought it over my body my right foot lost its hold on the shower floor and it sent my legs flying into the air, reaching out for the shower curtain I tore it free from the rings. 

Landing with a hollow thunk on the shower tiles I squirmed around as I tried to use every conceivable object within my grasp to cover myself up. Groaning I let out a weak, “Goddamn it… ugh, oh my god.”

Ayanami took a few small steps towards me, “Do you require medical attention? I have some experience in first aid.”

“NO! I’m fine please, j-j-j-just turn away and close the door.”

“Okay.”

Covering up my face until I heard the door’s small click, I laid on the floor in pain. When I thought I could risk it, I got to my knees then shakily stood up leaning against a wall for support and got to toweling off until I realized my major problem. 

Cracking open the door just a hair width I called out, “Ayanami?”

“Yes?”

I closed my eyes and let out a small groan, “Can-can you get me my clothes on my bed.”

After a series of small footsteps, I felt a tiny hot hand and a bundle of clothes touch my fingers, “Here you are.”, feeling my chest and face burning I squeezed them in through the crack. “Thanks.”

I tried to get dressed as quickly as I could, trying not to focus on the fact that Ayanami had just seen me in my birthday suit, tossing the towel aside I made a note to fix my shower curtain later. I just tried to focus on not blushing too much, flinging the door open I jumped back a little, there she was staring blankly at me not even a step away from the bathroom door.

“Are you ready.”

Swallowing a golf ball sized lump in my throat I silently nodded, “Alright then, let’s go.”

Before I knew it, she swiveled away and began to walk out of my apartment, snatching my MP3 and earbuds I darted after her, pocketing my wallet I stopped at my door. My heart was sinking at the thought of someone finding out about this, but I had no time to pause and think she was already making her way down the stairs.

Slamming the door shut and locking I jogged after her, almost bumping into her when I finally caught up, she asked me a single question. “Why do you listen to such sad music? Are you in pain?”

I figured she heard my music but, how was I supposed to respond to her. “I don’t know, Ayanami. It’s the only music I like… I guess.”

“You have a nice singing voice.” I felt my chest tighten a little, but it felt good. Not like I was going to throw up and longed for the feeling to curl up into a ball and disappear. “Uh- thanks.”

We didn’t say much after that, we rode in silence on the train ride to Nerv HQ, I sat on the same bench as her just on the opposite end. Plugging in I looked at her from the corner of my eyes, in her lap she read from a small brown leather brown book, her short hair curled over and covered her ears. Her thick clumped bangs almost obscured her eyes. 

It keeps me from falling asleep  
In that grave I call a bed  
until you called me up and said

Shutting out the world with Flatsound’s “I exist, I exist, I exist” I eyed her for a good minute before returning my attention to the window in front of me watching the blur of buildings fly on by. Rocking side to side slightly from the rumbling of the train I focused on the ground, I lost count of how many songs played but next thing I knew the train came to a screeching halt and Ayanami came up to me. “We’re here.”

Slipping my player into my pocket I continued to follow her down to the entrance, after sliding my access card we proceeded to ride down the escalator, I was debating whether to break the silence but decided not to. Instead I just listened to the hum of the machinery and echoes of voices. 

Eventually she found the place where we needed to be, a blonde lady leaned against the wall, the smell of burning tobacco hung in the air as she tapped a half-finished cigarette over a coffee cup. “Ah, welcome. You must be the sixth child Nathan. So, what do you think of Nerv so far?”

“I don’t know, it’s okay I guess… haven’t seen much of it yet.”

“Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll be impressed with it soon enough. Now here you go.” She tossed a plug suit shrink wrapped into my chest, catching it I saw that it was the same colors as my EVA. “I’m Doctor Ritsuko Akagi by the way, and I’ll be overseeing your synch test. I mean this when I say it, everyone here at Nerv will be watching you with great interest. Rei can you show him to the changing rooms?”

“Yes ma’am.”

I didn’t say anything to Dr. Ritsuko, I just followed Rei to the locker rooms, splitting off from her I went into the men’s room, walking in I heard the soft whoosh of compressed air. I saw a kid with brown hair about my age sitting on a bench wearing a blue and white plug suit, hearing me walk in he gasped a little. “Oh, hi.”

“Hey.” I replied clutching the plug suit tighter to my chest, he stared at me for a minute his brow furrowed as if he were trying to remember something. “Wait that’s a plug suit you’re carrying. You’re the sixth pilot aren’t you… the one from America. I saw you at the ramen shop. Why didn’t you come and eat with us? Kensuke was excited at the chance to meet you.”

“Sorry to disappoint. I just felt like eating alone, I guess. Your friends seemed nice though.” Walking around to the other side of the locker set he was on I tore apart the shrink wrap and started to undress.

“So, what’s your name? I’m Shinji but I guess you already knew, right?”

“Yeah I knew, it’s Nathan by the way.”

“So why all the secrecy? Why didn’t you want us to know your name or face?”

Sliding my feet into the suit I tried to think of a reason, “I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to meet the two of you on my terms.” Clicking the wrist switch the suit tightened up, with a puff it was finally skin-tight, tossing my clothes into a locker and slamming it shut I asked him the question I had been dying to know.

“What’s it like, fighting the angels give me the honest answer.”

“Honest answer… it’s the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. There were times I was just convinced I was going to die, I just wanted to run away but I didn’t. The last angel we fought was some kind of blue diamond, it almost ended up killing me and Rei… but we won.”

Putting on the nerve clips I stared at the lockers in the direction of where Shinji’s voice was coming from. “So, what’s the deal with you and Rei?”

“We’re just friends… I think. Anyways c’mon we’re gonna be late for our synch testing.”

Following behind him I didn’t expect to see Misato and Ritsuko talking eagerly standing around Rei who was standing there her right hand on her left forearm stroking it slowly, when the two of us approached the girls Rei looked up at me her wide red eyes seemed to gaze deep into me, but then she asked me something that made my heart sink and wish the plug suit was looser so I could pull my head into it like a turtle.

“I didn’t hear you screaming in the locker rooms, are you more comfortable with Shinji seeing you naked rather than me, Nathan?”

Whatever conversation Misato and Ritsuko were having stopped on a dime having heard a more interesting topic they turned their attention over to us, my face was burning, and my chest grew tighter I was sure that my heart was about to stop at any second. “Wh-wha-what?! She saw you naked?” Shinji’s face grew just as red as mine if not redder.

“Oh my god Rei no! I changed on the other side of the lockers.”

“So, there is no problem?”

“Yes, I mean no! I just like my privacy.”

“Wait she saw you- “

“It was an accident Shinji, she went in my apartment when I was in the shower when she swung by to pick me up, I didn’t know she was there until I walked out.”

“Yes, Shinji it was an accident. Much like the time you saw me after my shower.”

“B-b-but that was an accident too! You didn’t answer the door, I didn’t mean to trip on you and touch your-your-“He quit speaking and fell silent but his eyes betrayed him and let everyone know what he touched.

I muttered something along the lines of oh god kill me now burying my face in my hands, Shinji couldn’t be any redder, he was just stammering and having a conniption fit. All the while Misato was howling like a hyena and Ritsuko was trying to stifle her laughter, I was just trying to see if my plug suit’s neck couldn’t stretch over my head.

“Well, well, well looks like there’s sparks in the air today. They’re moving faster than I did at their age, I wonder if this is a reverse three’s company deal our little love birds having going on.” Misato managed to choke out her thoughts in between gagging fits of laughter, 

Ritsuko’s eyes grew wide as she lightly slapped Misato’s arm, “Misato don’t say anything like that! They’re kids, they shouldn’t be doing any of that kind of stuff.” But she couldn’t hide her smile or laughter anymore, looking at Rei in between my fingers I saw that she looked slightly alarmed and seemed to be glancing back and forth nervously.

I’m not sure what possessed her to bring up what happened this morning, but it looked like she felt bad about embarrassing me and Shinji. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry for teasing you kids. It’s just so fun to see Shinji get wound up, and oh my god Nathan you look like you’re gonna burst. Hey Ritsuko, I guess we finally found someone even more tense than Shinji.”

When the two women stopped laughing at us, Ritsuko suggested we get the testing done since we wasted enough time already. Getting into the tube I remembered how much I hated getting in the LCL. Even after the first time I still couldn’t get over the sensation that I felt like I was drowning at least for the first few seconds. 

Ritsuko’s cut through and almost echoed in the entry plug, “Alright everyone good numbers all around. Nathan, you’re fluctuating a bit, calm down and relax.”   
“Yeah, sorry.” Focusing on clearing my head imagining every thought forming together into a small tight ball and pushing it to the back of my mind and exhaling I felt a strange sensation, even though the plug was just a simulator I felt a warm aura move into me calming me down. “Alright perfect nice work all around, we’ll get you guys out in a minute.” 

In the control room Ritsuko and Misato eyed the data, “Can you believe that? They all hit in the low seventies for their synch rates.”

“Yes, but look at this, Nathan had a sharp drop off from seventy-two to fifty-eight. But then-. No that’s impossible, he jumped up to eighty-three?”

“The data doesn’t lie Misato, it seems that once he calms down and opens up, he can quickly achieve a higher synch ratio. We may have to put an inhibitor on him during piloting for his own safety, I don’t even want to think what could happen if he hits one hundred or something higher if it’s possible.” 

“He may have a high synch ratio, but it doesn’t mean anything if it or he’s unstable. Still to make a jump like that, it raises questions.”

“That is a serious understatement, I’m not sure Rei has done anything like that. It seems that the EVA wants to strongly bond with him, but at first, he resists it. Almost like he’s uncomfortable or scared of it, but eventually he stops fighting it.”

“We’ll have to keep an eye on him that’s for sure.”

Back in the locker room I couldn’t stop thinking about how Rei looked back in my apartment, her pale almost cream skin and her red hypnotic eyes. Taking my suit off I quickly pulled up my boxers, then my pants. Placing my elbows on my knees I stared at the interior of the locker it was completely empty except for the bottom where a clump of clothes rested. “Y-you got any plans for tonight?”

Shinji’s voice echoed through the empty locker room, the only other sound there was came from the dripping faucets in the shower, showering after a dip in the LCL always felt weird it was like trying to wash away a thin layer of mucus. And there was always that odd smell that hung on us after getting out of it, I could never place what it was though.

“No, I was just gonna stay and then check out the room they set up for me here.”

“Just that? Will I see you at school tomorrow?”

“Not sure, haven’t decided if I want to go yet.”

“But you will go eventually right? I mean I think everyone would be excited to meet you. But hey you wouldn’t mind if I hung around here with you, would you?”

“No, might be nice to walk around the facility with someone.”

Finishing up I didn’t bother to button my shirt, I just shoved my black under shirt into my pants. Soon as we left the locker room door we came face to face with Rei, “I’m leaving now. Nathan, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable this morning when I saw you- “

“Yeah apology accepted Rei.”

“Oh… okay. Farewell.”

With that she left her shoes clicking and her skirt swishing side to side, I looked away. Glancing back at Shinji I saw that he was staring at her as well, when he caught me looking at him. “Oh, hey. You wanna head on down to the cafeteria and see what they got?”

“Yeah sounds good.” Swallowing a bit, I wondered how he felt about Rei, but when we got to the café and finally got our food, we sat down we took turns asking one another questions. Soon before we know it everything was closing and several lights were turning off, we eventually found the children’s dorms. “You sure you want to stay? Mistao’s not gonna get worried, is she?”

“No, she knows where I am. Besides I think once I told her I’d be staying with you she wanted me to stay.”

“Well here we are, home away from home away from-. Well someplace I guess.”

The room was tiny with a single light panel in the center of the ceiling, there was a small closet, desk and minifridge. On the floor was another futon and mat. Boxed up on my desk was the coffee set, tea kettle and hot plate I had order. Alongside it a box of extra caffeinated green tea. Stuffed in the corner was a water dispenser.

“I guess you’re a minimalist right?”

Chuckling I replied, “You know you’re the second person to say that about me.”

“Who was the first?”

“Misato.”

“Yeah, she would be the one to bring up that. Between you and me, she’s kind of a slob. It took me almost a week to clean out the entire apartment. No doubt the absence of a mess would make her feel weird.”

“You want some green tea? Its Kombucha.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“There should be an extra mat in the closet if you want to get comfortable.”


	3. Chapter 3

After I gave Shinji some extra sleeping clothes, I started prepping the tea, soon enough we were sitting on our respective mats against the wall with our legs stretched out. “Hmm, its good. It kind of tastes like flowers and spices.”

“Enjoy it, this is pre-impact tea. So, it’s supposed to taste better and fresher. It was also worth the pretty penny.”

I could already feel the caffeine working its magic, after a while Shinji had two cups meanwhile, I was working on my fifth cup. Eventually my body and mind felt just absolutely drained, stretching out on the futon in the dark, I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep. But my brain was still firing on all cylinders, looking over quick I saw that Shinji was resting his head on his hands.

“You still awake?”

“Yeah, Nathan. You want to talk about something?”

“Shinji… I don’t think Misato and Ritsuko trust me.”

“Why would you say something like that Nathan? What could possibly be the reason why they don’t trust you?”

“My synch tests, they didn’t even bother to debrief us after. I think it’s because of me. For some reason every synch test I’ve ever done, I always hop from low numbers to high numbers. One time I jumped so far that the stress on my body landed me in a coma for two weeks.”

“I don’t see that as a problem… you just have to open yourself up to the EVA. Even if it is terrifying to be in it. I’m gonna be honest with you… after the first few times I piloted the EVA I ran away. No place in particular, once I ended up in the country with Kensuke. You ever feel like running away?”

“No, it’s never gotten that bad. Besides whenever I did want to run away, I had no place to run to, whatever place I ran off to wouldn’t be any better. Besides either they’d find me, or I’d just come crawling back to them. And the one time I did get past the gates I had a nervous breakdown because I couldn’t figure out where I wanted to go.”

Shinji let out a quite Oh, then he stared off at the ceiling like something else was occupying his mind or something I had said made a flood of memories come rushing back to him. “Hey, back at the Ramen shop, if you knew who I was. Why didn’t you stop by to say hi?”

I stared at the ceiling, I chewed my lip, I tried to find the words I wanted to speak, usually the words I’d answer back with would be lies. I don’t know if it was the caffeine high and lack of sleep, being in the dark with someone and not being able to see each other or wanting to have someone to dump my troubles onto.

“I don’t know, I wanted to go over to you guys, but what’s the point. I’m just here for a job, as soon as it’s done, I’m gone. Why bother making friends if I’m just gonna have to leave them or vice versa? Besides for the first time in ever dying is a real threat, I don’t need that.”

“Need what?” He asked rolling onto his side using his elbow to prop himself up, I didn’t meet his gaze I kept my eyes to the ceiling. “I don’t need to feel the pain of someone leaving me or dying. Besides… now we’re all responsible for each other. If you or Rei dies it’s on me, and I’d have to live with that. At least the upside is if I die, I leave everything behind, no more pain, no more heartache or worries. Just nothing.”

“You’d just leave us though. You’d just dump that pain on us. Besides you really think nothing happens after we die?”

“No, there was nothing before we came into the world and when we go, it goes with us. Besides you really think people are worthy of saving? Do any of us really deserve a happy ending? None of that religious stuff really made sense to me anyways, whatever feeling it was supposed to give you… I never experienced.”

“So, what now you just don’t believe in anything? That there’s nothing good or anything worth fighting for?”

“Looking around no… I just think what’s done is already done. At this point we’re just delaying the inevitable, it’s like placing your hands around a candle’s flame in a windy room. Either you’re gonna get burned or you’re gonna end up in the dark.”

He rolled back over to his side facing the wall away from me, “Wow, and people call me gloomy. No offense.”

“Why would I be offended by the truth. There’s something wrong with me Shinji, I just wish I knew what it was.”

“Well there must be some people you care about that make it all worth it. Your parents maybe?” he said with a hint of hope in his voice.

“No… my parents are dead, sometime shortly after the second impact. I was too young, I don’t remember anything about them. Besides I don’t think they truly loved me, if anything they were just slaves to their own biology, chemicals in the brain just telling them to look after me and take care of me simply because I came from them. And it was in their best interest to protect their genes… that and the obvious.”

Shinji tried to meet my gaze again, and this time I met his. “The obvious reason?”

“If any parent truly loved their children, they would smother them as soon as they came into the world. Who in their right mind would bring another life into this world, especially now… after seeing and feeling every ounce of pain this world can dump on someone?”

“You don’t like being alive? I’d hate to say the obvious but if that’s the way you feel why don’t you just- “

I cut him off abruptly. “I’ve already asked myself that Shinji. The truth is I just endure it, I just keep going. Because I’m scared… this is all I know. I don’t know what it’s like to be dead, to not exist just to fade out. I think I’d rather live alone and suffer than to turn the lights out. At least I’d still be feeling something, I’d know what’s real.”

“Well wouldn’t you want to make sure all your moments were happy. Try to fit as much joy in your life as possible? Whether it be hanging out with friends or doing something that makes you feel happy?”

“That’s the thing, Shinji I don’t think anything can make me happy. At least for long, I get one moment of happiness but then I just remember that soon enough me and whoever I’m with will die, those memories included. And then it’ll be like we didn’t even exist, we’d just be forgotten. And everything else just keeps going on.”

Sitting up now he tapped my shoulder, “Hey come to school with me and Rei tomorrow. You can meet Toji and Kensuke. We can all have lunch together, you’d make their day going. Who knows maybe you’ll find one person who makes the time you spend here worth it?”

“Tell me Shinji… what do you think about Rei?”

“Why you asking?”

“I just want to know what you think of her.”

He fell quiet for a second, “I don’t know… I like her. But I’m not sure how much, things feel better when she’s around. I feel safer around her like I’ve known her my whole life. I just want to make sure she’s safe and happy. How do you feel about her?”

“There’s something about her… I can’t describe it, but she’s interesting. Her eyes, they just make me feel warm inside, it’s like I get lost in them. Something about them just makes everything else melt away.”

“You think I should ask her out?” he asked tentatively. 

I felt the sensation of icicles breaking my sternum and piercing my heart, I didn’t hate Shinji but the thought of him and rei together, just didn’t sit right with me. He seemed nice, I’m sure they’d be happy together, but some part of me just wanted Rei for myself. I’m a coward and a piece of crap, I thought to myself. Why was I feeling this towards him? Like I’d ask her out, even if I did, she’d probably say no.

“So, what do you think Nathan? I’m not sure how she’d react, I not even sure if she’s into dating.”

“Go for it I guess… if that’s what you want.”

I fell silent for a minute until I asked Shinji, “Shinji am I a bad person?”

“What makes you ask that?”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s because I feel like I’m not totally upfront with people. I only tell them half-truths, besides what good person says they hate their parents. I could be dying, and nobody would know.”

“I don’t think you’re a bad guy, you just need to learn how to trust people. Besides why wouldn’t you tell people if you were dying?”

“I dunno, I guess I just wouldn’t want to inconvenience them.”

“You’re not dying right now… are you?” his eyes jumped side to side.

“No, I’m not.” I let out a soft snicker.

“But if you were, you’d tell us, right?”

“Sure, Shinji.”

“Hey Nathan, we’re friends, right?”

“I guess we are, yeah.”

“You wouldn’t have a problem if me and Rei dated, would you?”

“No.”

I lied. I plucked off my black rimmed glasses and placed them behind my head, rolling over I said, “Night Shinji.”

“Oh, goodnight… Nathan.”


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning after a short train ride I found myself at Shinji’s school, it was weird seeing everyone wearing the same outfit all the girls had their white shirts with red ribbons and the dark teal skirt.

All the other guys except for Toji had white button ups covering up black shirts tucked into their black pants and white shirts. I on the other hand traded my white shoes for black ones and was letting my short sleeve button up hang loose, free and unbuttoned. The only rule I had followed was tucking my black undershirt into my pants, the teachers didn’t hold back in voicing their displeasure, but they didn’t take any action against me.

I just wish Shinji would’ve let me know just how wild the other kids could get, it wasn’t until the old white-haired teacher with the thick rimmed introduced me asking if there was anything I’d like to say about myself and choosing to say nothing except “Can I just sit down?”

Did I notice how many empty spots conveniently opened up in groups surrounded by other people, some guys beamed at me and eagerly patted empty seats next to them, girls leaned forward showing bright pearly smiles. I tried to meet some of their gazes but quickly me eyes fell to the floor or some other spot. 

Halfway through the sea of desks I saw Rei sitting alone leaning on her hand and staring out the window, Shinji was a desk or two away from her. Toji leaning as far back as he could his arms crossed over his chest, he had some kind of tough guy look on his face as if he was trying to size me up.

Kensuke had a camcorder out leaning all the way forward in his chair, he had a smile so big on his face it looked like it was about to rip in two. Looking over my shoulder I saw everyone’s eyes still on me, just feeling their gazes made my heart race and my insides squirm like worms on ice.

Shinji looked at me with hope in his eyes, but I just walked past one empty desk behind his friend group taking the lone desk in the back. Stretching my left leg down the aisle and keeping my right leg close under the desk I dropped my backpack beside me and faced the front.

The old teacher got on with his lesson, muttering things about the second impact, meanwhile everyone else turned their attention on me. Thankfully Shinji had his friends acted like a buffer, sitting around me trying to keep away as much people as they could. Rei just stayed in her chair, but I could swear her head was turned slightly in my direction.

“So, you’re the new evangelion pilot?” “Can I get a picture with you?”

“Where are you from?” “You kill any angels yet?” “How’d you qualify?”

“What weapons does it use?” “When are we gonna see you in action?”

“What are it’s colors?” “Can you tell us any Nerv secrets?”

Every single second another eager fast paced voice fired off another question at me, soon I was just hearing blurbs of voices. “Alright cut it out give the guy some space.” Toji’s voice cut through all the others, making everyone back off. Everyone slowed down then, giving me time to go over each question.

Everyone’s eyes widen and waves of oooh’s and aaaah’s filled the air as I describe what the EVA looked like and the double-bladed glaive staff that I used. I was pretty much answering questions throughout the entire class time, the teacher was either the most oblivious man on earth or he just didn’t care.

Opting to spend his time staring out the window, telling us facts and stories about the second impact. 

Before we knew it, the bell had rung dismissing us to our separate gym classes, getting changed in the locker room it was hard to ignore the excited whispers and chattering. The only ones that seemed cool and unfazed about my being there were the trio that had adopted me, whether I wanted them to or not.

“So, newbie, you’re from America right. How’s the babe situation there? Better, worse or about the same.”

“I don’t know, never really paid much attention to the girls.” I replied as I pulled on my sneakers.

“What are you gay or something?” 

“No, I’m not gay! It’s just no girls really caught my eye, besides I spent most of the years living in an underground bunker in the middle of the desert. Anyways most of the kids I interacted with were just children of people who worked there.”

“So, you’re saying that we have the hotter girls here?”

A flash of white moon skin and red eyes with short blue hair almost covering them took over my mind for a second, “Sure… yeah there are some lookers here.”

“Oh, man I wish I was you Nathan!” Kensuke said all giddily pushing his glasses up his nose, “Piloting an Evangelion and already a hit with the ladies.”

“Please man, they’re just eyeing me because I’m new, I mean my nice light dark caramel skin tone and short thick raven hair waves might have something to do with it. But I’m almost certain that they were eyeing Shinji when word got out about him being a pilot too.”

Kensuke and Toji looked over to Shinji who furrowed his brow and shrugged his shoulders, “If they did, I didn’t notice them.”

“Alright all that aside what’s your sport of choice newbie basketball, tennis, tether ball, soccer?” Toji cracked his knuckles and smoothed out his shirt.

“I’m more of a track, dodge ball and baseball kind of guy.”

“Alright then, once everyone is out, we’ll start up a game of baseball. And guess what it’s me and Kensuke on a team against you and Shinji.”

“Yeah pilots against civvies!” Kensuke leaped up from the bench and pumped his fists in the air, “And if we win you have to make me a backup Evangelion pilot! Or at least take me up in the tube during another battle.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure we can guarantee any of that Kensuke.” Shinji said his eyes lowering, trying to not kill his friend’s dream but still having to give him the reality of the situation. “Yeah, okay. But someday mark my words I will pilot an Evangelion!”

“Fine then, if you can’t do that lets make things interesting.” Toji rubbed his hands together with such vigor that I swear I was smelling smoke.

“Well, what’s this big idea then?” Leaning against the locker I eagerly waited for Toji’s answer, “Alright if you guys win… Kensuke will do your homework for an entire month!”

“Wait what? I didn’t agree to this Toji!”

“Shut up man, we got this in the bag.”

“And if we lose?” Shinji asked cocking an eyebrow up looking mildly excited, a devilish smile crept up on Toji’s face. “If you guys lose, you and Nathan have to buy me and Kensuke lunch for the rest of the week.”

Kensuke burst out laughing and Shinji’s jaw dropped most of the color left his face. “I don’t get it guys what’s so funny?”

“Oh, he doesn’t know Shinji! Nathan let’s put it this way, Toji’s been known to eat the cafeteria out of house and home on a few occasions. I swear it’s like watching a bear eat to get ready to hibernate for winter.”

“So, if we lose, we might as well just empty out our bank accounts to feed this guy for a week.”

“Heh, heh, heh. Try a day there newbie.” Mulling things over, I bounced my head side to side. “Fine, you got a bet.”

Out on the diamond the guys split into two teams while the girls spent their time either swimming or watching the game, Rei on the other hand just sat alone at the edge of the fence. The wind carried their small excited chattering over to us, most of the guys in the outfield were too busy gawking at them in their swimsuits to really pay any attention. 

Normally Toji would have joined them apparently, but since he took it upon himself to be the pitcher he was totally focused, Shinji just guessed that whenever there was free food on the line Toji would shut out all distractions in any effort to win.

“Hey, Nathan your jaws hanging open.” Banging against the metal fence he caught my attention, “Wha-what?”

I tuned to face Kensuke who had the catcher helmet flipped up, he followed my eyeline and turned back giggling eyes all wide like saucers. “Oooooh, are you eyeing Ayanami? Oh, man what is about that girl that drives you EVA pilots crazy?”

“Yeah, Shinji likes her, too doesn’t he?” I asked looking at Shinji who was standing on second base, stretching his legs back and forth getting ready to run. “Yeah, he’s into her, I guess. But I think he worries about her more than he cares about getting with her. I think he just wants to get to know her more. Now c’mon it’s your turn at bat.”

Just as he turned to walk away, I hissed in a whisper, “Kensuke!”

“Yeah what is it Nathan?”

“Can you not tell Shinji that I like Rei?”

“Sure, man no problem. You really think that she could come between you two?”

“I’m not sure, besides like I’d have a chance with her.”

“I dunno know man stranger things have happened. Now let’s go it’s the bottom of the sixth.”

I decided to go last to bat, giving my turns to other guys until it was the final of the game, Toji didn’t oppose it in fact he was all for it.

“So, look who’s finally coming to bat, alright everybody move in!” Waving his glove forward until everyone scooted up further.

“Really Toji is this necessary?” Kensuke piped up from behind the batter’s box. Walking around and picking up a plain silver aluminum bat I stepped up.

“C’mon the guy skipped all his turns at bat, and he spent most of the time playing short stop. He obviously can’t hit worth a crap, I got this week’s free lunch in the bag! Now come on let’s end it.” 

I just shut out Toji’s words, stepping inside the batter’s box I shuffled my feet until the very tips of my sneakers were barely touching Homeplate. “Oh, what the hell? Hey that’s cheating newbie! You can’t be on the plate.”

“Hey, I’m not on the plate, besides its strategy. There’s still a strike zone it’s just much, much smaller.” I whispered the last few words just to really rub it in.

“Fine! Whatever you’re gonna go down looking.”

“Bring it on Toji!”

“Alright, guys bottom of the sixth! Runners on second and third, seven us five them. Let’s end it.” Kensuke tried to pump up his team slapping his fist into the catcher’s mitt he squatted down and got ready to catch Toji’s heat.

Digging into the dirt I lifted my heels off the ground barely an inch, slowly wrapping my hands around the bat letting my left-hand rest on the knob of the bat. Lifting it high and away from my head I leaned back, Toji leaned forward giving me a smirk, then he went into his motions pulling back bringing his leg up high before rotating his whole body and firing the ball out of his hand like a canon. It zipped past my face by at least half a foot. “Strike!”

“C’mon Nathan, don’t go down swinging!” Shinji cupped his hands over his mouth, calling out to me. “What’s the matter newbie? Too fast for ya?” Toji cackled. Smirking back at him I shot back with, “Not fast enough! You throw like a five-year-old girl!”

Toji’s face twisted in on itself like he had just sucked down a lemon, “Oh, you did it now, Nathan.” Kensuke groaned behind me. Settling back into my position, I got ready for Toji’s next pitch, he almost caught me off guard, but I saw where it was going. Just as it flew from his hand it looked like it was going to fly and smack me in the face. But then it took a sharp curve. 

Just as it was about halfway down from Toji’s mound I swung with every ounce of force I could muster up. Twisting my torso and back right leg I slammed the bat into the ball and turned it into a small meteor, a loud ping rang out. The ball shot out and crashed against the metal fence rattling it and scaring off the girls.

Toji shouted so loud it sounded like his vocal cords were ripping apart, he threw his glove away and then collapsed crying about his lost meal. Just as I rounded third base and touched Homeplate the bell rang again and Toji lamented again, “Oh, so long free lunch.”

Walking back to the changing rooms I told Toji to forget about the bet and offered to get him some lunch and the other two were right. This kid can eat, he walked away from the lunch line carrying at least three bento boxes, four burgers and some other things that were stuffed in his pockets. By the time we went most of the food was gone, all I saw left was a pre-made veggie meal with rice, mushrooms and other vegetables, and a small bowl of rice with vegetables and fish. 

I would have loved to buy the fish, but I didn’t have enough cash on hand, I just grabbed the veggie bowl and gave the lady all the money I had before jogging up the stairs back to class 2-A. Walking in I saw everyone eagerly eating their lunches while staring at the mound of food Toji had amassed on his desk.

They were right, I had made a mistake, it was exactly like watching a bear get ready for winter.

Walking up to the boys I passed Rei who returned to her place, staring aimlessly out of the window. Sitting down next to Shinji I pointed at Rei, “Is she not gonna eat?”

Swallowing a bit of rice ball, he made a concerned face, “You know thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her eat here. I guess she just doesn’t make her own food, I don’t think she spends her money for food either. At least not here.”

Feeling my stomach start to knot and twist in on itself, I shoved my knuckles into my gut to try and ignore its rumblings and sharp pains in my side. Shrugging it off I walked over to her, “Uh- Hey Rei?”

She turned her head over to me placing her hand back and the desk and intertwining her fingers in on themselves. “Oh, hello Nathan.”

My mouth felt instantly dry and I swallowed nervously wetting my lips quickly, “Hey I noticed you didn’t have any lunch, and I just wanted to give you this.”

“Oh… thank you but I don’t eat meat.”

“Well, it’s vegetarian I checked and everything.” 

“But aren’t you hungry? After seeing you play that game of baseball don’t you need to eat?”

“Well I’m actually not all that hungry, and I’d hate to see you go without eating.”

Holding it out to her she reached and took it with both hands, her fingertips made contact with my mine just for a second, I felt a warm comforting glow run up my arm. She gave a small smile as her checks turned a light pink color, “T-thank you.”

“No problem.” I walked off back to Shinji and his friends sliding my hands in my pockets until Kensuke stuck out an arm catching me in my stomach. “Ooooh, do I smell love in the air? Giving Rei your lunch, and did you guys see her blush”

“Wow newbie putting the moves on the weird quiet chick. Guess we know your type now.” Toji said in between mouthfuls of hamburger.

Shinji just kind of brought his arms closer to his chest and wiggled in his desk, bringing his head closer down. “I was just trying to be nice guys, I mean we’re gonna be working with each other. Besides it looks like most people just ignore her, I just want to be nice to her.”

Plopping down next to them Shinji gave me a quiet look and mouthed “Thank-you”.

Before we knew it, the school day was over, and everyone was heading down to the train station. Just as I was about to plug in my earbuds for the ride home, I heard a chorus of voices call out to. “Hey Nathan!” Looking over my shoulder I saw Toji and Kensuke running after me with Shinji lagging behind. “Where you headed off to man?” Toji asked huffing out.

“I was just gonna head on home, do some homework and eat leftovers.”

“Well that sure sounds exciting and all but… we actually wanted to know if you wanted to come with us to Shinji’s apartment and have a study secession.” Kensuke said jesting to Shinji who just walked up. “Oh, and don’t worry about dinner. Shinji’s an amazing cook, he can make anything synthetic taste just like the real thing!”

“Yeah, man Shinji’s on a whole ‘nother level when it comes to cooking, I swear if he cooked for all the girls in class, they’d be lining up to get with him.”

“Oh, c’mon guys, I’m okay.” Shinji rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. Just as I was about to give an answer my phone began to ring then a second later Shinji’s rang too.

A single line of text sent by Misato flashed on the screen.

ALERT HEAD TO NERV HQ ASAP

Next thing we knew Rei came running up to us, “There’s an emergency we need to go now.”

“I guess we got to put a pin in this, until later.”

“A pin in what?” Rei asked tilting her head curiously at me. “Nothing, let’s get to HQ who knows what they need.”

“Hey, we’re gonna try and sneak out of the bunker if we can, we’ll be rooting for you guys. Good luck.”

“Thanks guys and hey try not to get in the way of the fight this time. You remember what almost happened last time.” Shinji said tightening the straps of his backpack. “Yeah, we know master EVA pilot, thanks again. And sorry for everything before.”

“All water under the bridge Toji, just be safe.”

Seeing the two guys off, the three of us took off running. I don’t know what feeling was going through my body right now buy I felt like it was a mixture of excitement and fear, I’m not sure if I wanted to vomit from the fear of what was coming or the excitement of finally doing the job I was sent here to do.


	5. Chapter 5

In NERV HQ

Gendo Ikari and Kozo Fuyutsuki were in the dark of Gendo’s office, as typical Fuyutsuki the ever-faithful dog stood behind him, back straight as a rod and hands folded behind his back. Gendo rested his elbows on his desk fingers intertwined covering his mouth, staring forward at nothing.

Fuyutsuki broke the silence, “Ikari are you certain that this is the right course of action?”

Remaining silent for a second Gendo took time to collect his thoughts, “Yes… it is the only way we can test the abilities of the sixth child in a real-world scenario.”

“But what about Seele? What will they say about this?”

“The old men won’t suspect a thing. Besides if we are to be successful in our plans, we will need to defeat all the angels. The only thing the heads of Seele will see is us bringing the third angel for tests and observations, but by chance it will manage to break loose. Forcing us to destroy it.”

“And you’re sure the children will succeed? I will not lie about not being comfortable with the idea of intentionally letting an angel loose in the city where there’s the chance they could fail.”

“They really don’t have an option, do they?”

“And if the American should die, Ikari?”

“Then the German one will take his place and we will call for the fourth child. Anyhow it will not come to that, it seems my son has taken a liking to him, I do not see a scenario where he will allow his new friend to die.”

“I will trust your judgement even if I feel the possible consequences could harm our future goals.”

“There’s no need to fear Fuyutsuki, I feel this boy will play a key role in our plans. Rei maybe the bullet and Shinji the trigger, but I feel if we plan accordingly and mold him perfectly, he will be the barrel.”

“If you say so Ikari, I think it’s time we join the others in watching these events upfold.”

In the changing rooms the only thing that could be heard was the rustling of clothes, and the swift click and whooshing of air leaving the plug suits. I sat in the middle stall in between Rei and Shinji, looking in either direction I could see their silhouettes through the thin walls, watching them remove their streetwear and then suit up made me feel dirty like I had eyes staring at me from behind. I just kept my eyes glued to the floor, bouncing my knees while fiddling with the interface headset, letting out deep breaths trying to calm down.

But my heart still felt like it was gonna rip itself free from my chest, “Nathan you scared.” Shinji asked.

“It is that obvious?” I asked shakily.

“It is okay to be afraid, fear is the body’s natural response to threats of danger.” Rei quipped up.

“Are you afraid Rei” I asked hoping someone was in the same boat with me.

“No, I am not.”

“It’s okay Nathan, I’m a little scared too. You’re not alone on this.”

Alone, I thought.

“Shinji is right. We will protect you. Now let’s go the operation is about to commence.”

“Right behind you, Rei.”

They didn’t even wait for my response they were already bounding down the hall, I was still sitting on the small bench messing with the headset. Letting out one last breath I slipped the headset on and asked softly out loud. “Am I worth it though?” 

Before my nerves would lock up my muscles I jogged out and met my fellow pilots outside, after a brief mission statement of the target and objective we were taken to our plugs. The strange smell of LCL filled up the tube, strangely for the first time it didn’t bother me, once the tube was locked in place voices filled the space.

“Alright guys, now the third angel is apparently an excellent tunneler, so we will try to force it to surface by detonating explosive charges underground. Now to cover more ground we will have the three of you spread out and patrol different sections of the city.”

Misato barked her orders at us with a sense of confidence and calmness that felt relaxing like she was right on my shoulder, I felt a little easier. But my heart was still racing. “Synch ratios look decent all around, everyone just keep calm and you’ll do fine.” Ritsuko’s serious tone seemed a little jarring, but we didn’t have much time to dwell on it.

“Everyone understand what we need you to do?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Roger.”

“Yeah, got it.”

“Alright, launch EVAs.”

There was one second of stillness and then once the clamps were released, I shot upwards at a million miles an hour, I sank back into the seat gripping the controls, I thought back to how simple the US’s launch system was. Just an elevator to the tube and then you just walk out of the storing house, not any of this rollercoaster stuff. I could feel the unit zig and zag as it gained speed racing towards the surface.

And then in a flash it stopped instantly and the hatch in front of me descended, I groaned weakly. “Nathan everything okay?” 

“Yeah, Captain Katsuragi. Just not used to this rollercoaster launching system.”

“Walk it off you’ll be fine. Keep focused we’re detonating the explosives now so it should be headed up there. Remember cut off its escape don’t let it get away and destroy the core.”

Stepping out into the city I used the controls and reached behind my back removing what looked like a massive plain grey rod, clicking the switch on it there was two swift schinks and a silver gleaming blade popped out of each end. Each blade was almost as long as the EVA’s arm and had a slight curve at the end, popping my neck side to side I held it high near my head. 

Ready to spear whatever came at me.

“Everyone in position?” 

Everyone replied to Misato’s order, neither them hinted at any trace of fear.

“Yes.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” I chewed the inside of my cheek trying to get ready for whatever was headed my way.

“Detonating explosives in 3… 2… 1… commence detonation.”

After a brief second there was a rumbling under the earth, it threw me off balance for a second. But I got my footing soon enough and proceeded to walk around the city ready for the angel to pop up. “Any of you guys see anything yet?” Shinji asked, his voice filled with slight fear and excitement.

“No, I haven’t encountered the angel yet.”

“Same here Shinji. Nothing new, wait… are you guys feeling aftershocks from those explosives?”

My heart and mind raced at what they could say or what was coming.  
“Nathan.” Misato’s voice cut in through our conversation, “There aren’t any aftershocks it’s the angel its heading straight tow-!”

The last part of her voice cut off as the earth, buildings and concrete exploded up all around me rattling against the EVA, but just as quick I was blinded by a flash of light… wait not light. Fire. Pure bright orange hell fire engulfed the unit, it felt like all of my nerves were on fire and I was being boiled alive in the LCL, I couldn’t help it I let out a blood curdling scream. “Aaarrrggggh!”

“Nathan! Rei, Shinji get over there and help him out on the double.”

“Right.”

“Nathan hold on we’re on our way!”

Plunging the glaive down into the earth I hit something because the fire stopped but still the inside of the tube was singeing my skin, a garbled shriek and a jet of red angel blood shot up like a geyser. Before I could react, I felt a sharp pain in my back and in my stomach like I was gut punched and winded. I tasted blood in my mouth it dribbled past my tongue and down my lips, looking down towards my stomach I saw the tail end of the angel popping through my stomach covered in blood.

The muscles in my neck tensed up as I yelled out in pain, dropping the glaive to the side I tried to pull out the tail bone blade, but it slipped through my fingers as it began to rapidly move back in forth sawing upwards.

Lifting me into the air the angel unearthed itself, the body looked like a massive yellow and black stripped snail shell with the legs of a centipede. The neck looked like a coil of spinal bones from a snake ending in the skull of a large bird or something. Letting go of the controls I gripped my sides, my eyes popped out of my skull as I felt all my organs being shredded.

“Ritsuko what’s his synch ratio at?”

“It’s only climbing he’s at 82 percent.”

“Well lower it!”

“We can’t the small AT field he’s producing is keeping that thing from completely killing him, nobody but Rei and Shinji can save him.”

“Rei! Shinji! Hurry!”

The angel turned its ugly head and faced me, with its blank skull like face, inside its mouth I could see the red core glowing. Powering through the pain I reached to my shoulder and grabbed the progressive knife out, it wasn’t what I wanted but it was better than nothing. Grabbing the tail end, I shouted, “Take this you ostrich looking mother fucker!”

I began sawing through the tail until it was cut off, shrieking in pain the angel bit down on my right wrist and twisted breaking it until it was loose and flopping, then with a flick of its head turned my right hand…no it turned the EVAs hand into a bloody stump. Then it spread its mouth as wide as it could clamping down on the head and chest of the EVA and blasted as much fire as it could.

“Misato he can’t wait any longer we need to eject him!”

“Rei, Shinji which of you is closest?”

“I’m almost there.” Rei said coolly and calmly, it was amazing that I could hear here over my screams and the jet whine like noise of the fire attack from the angel. “Alright Rei when we eject Nathan, your job is to catch him and retreat back to the rendezvous point. Shinji your new task is to kill the angel by all costs.”

“Understood captain.”

The temperature was only growing, it felt like every ounce of life I had was being choked out of me. “Nathan get ready to eject.”

I couldn’t give any other reply other than, “Aaaaahhhh!”

In an instant I felt the sensation of being slingshot out of a canon, I was soaring through the air, I swear I could smell my skin cooking and I could feel my shredded insides falling apart and the blood leaving my body. But then a calming voice cut through the tube and made me relax, like I was ready for whatever would happen next.

“Nathan, I’ve got you relax. Your job is done here, Shinji will handle the rest.” 

A single name floated through my mind as I closed my eyes… Rei.

But little did I know the Angel regrew its tail and flicked the tube flying through the air making me smash through a couple of buildings, when I finally crashed on the earth all the LCL inside was flushed out and I sank back into the seat after being bounced around like a batch of loose laundry in a dryer.

“Nathan!” several voices cut over the few second-long silence, all I could hear besides my wheezing was the scuttling of the centipede like legs crawling along the streets. Then there was a loud crash as the third angel body slammed my tube putting all its weight on it puncturing the tube with its sharp legs.

The indents it caused jutted on the inside, jagged pieces of metal began to gorge and stick me. Cutting through the plug suit I began to feel the sting of air on my blood. The sharp smell of pennies hung heavy in the tube, “Blood… blood… I smell blood! Help me! I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, not like this, not like this. Don’t let me die! Help, Rei! Shinji! Misato! Someone help me!”

Crying and pleading I wiggled around the tube as it kept getting smaller and smaller, the angel began to squeal with what sounded like glee as if it were happy. I could feel steams of blood flowing down my arms, chest, lower legs and at least two different part on my right inner thigh. Just as I felt like this was the end I heard a rapid crashing coming towards me, just outside the tube Rei’s blue and white EVA came running up shoulder slamming into the angel scooping up the tube and holding it behind her back she got the angel in a headlock with her left arm, prying open its jaw with her left hand.

Shinji gave out a cry of rage that would have sent the berserker Vikings fleeing in terror, as he drove his progressive knife into the core cracking it and killing the angel making it explode into a giant red stain that splattered all over the streets and sides of the buildings. 

“Rei set him down we need to open the tube and check on him.” Shinji cried out as Rei quickly followed his orders, in a flash she placed me back on the ground locking the EVA’s hands on either side of it and exited her tube running down.

Shinji with surgical precision used the tips of his fingers to crack open the mangled tube peeling the metal back I was able to see the stars and the two EVA’s standing over me. There was one last streetlight that was still active and working, it was standing perfectly over Rei making her glow like an angel, her eyes went wide I followed them looking down at my body.

And I saw that I was lying in pools of my own blood, and more of it was seeping through the cuts and tears of my suit. “Rei… help me. Please I don’t want to die.” I pleaded feeling my eyes sting, it looked like she was on the verge of a panic attack or that she wanted to vomit. She gasped and covered up her mouth, I slowly raised one hand to her.

But then the fear in her eyes faded away in an instant, like she was remembering something, she took my hand in hers. Then a look of determination took over as she gripped my arm and pulled me out of the tube, I groaned and coughed up blood as she set me on the ground next to her.

Resting on her knees she laid me over her legs pulling me close to her chest. She fiddled with my wrist cuffs and then reached towards my waist getting dangerously close to my- “What are you doing Rei?” 

“I am helping you.” Clicking a switch on my right hip a series of puffs rang out and the suit refitted itself, tightening above everyplace that had a series of cuts the tightest part was on the upper part of my right thigh just above the femoral artery. 

My whole body shared the unified sensation of a heartbeat that echoed throughout my entire body. “Please Rei don’t let me die here.”

“Don’t worry you will not die, the medical teams are coming, just rest.”

I started to shake slightly, “I feel so cold Rei.” I shivered in her arms as, “Don’t worry I will not leave you.” She pulled me in closer, hugging me tighter. She was stifling a gag or something.

“Rei wh-wha-wh-what’s wrong?”

“I don’t like blood. Its smell or the sight of it.”

“S-s-ss-sorry. You didn’t get hurt saving me, did you?”

“I only felt the sensation of pain, physically I am fine. The Angel only harmed my EVA, I am safe.”

“I’m sorry… I’m not worth it. Please don’t save me if it’s gonna kill you. I don’t want you or Shinji to die for me. Don’t ever risk your life for me, I’m not worth it.” I kept coughing up blood, I could feel my lungs slowly filling up. My eyes felt like they were stinging, and I realized I was crying. It was the last thing I managed to choke out before I went limp and became unconscious.


	6. Chapter 6

I have no idea how long I was out for. 

But when I awoke there was the smell of antiseptic, the beeping of a heart rate monitor and stiff cotton sheets. My eyes opened and closed, sometimes I’d see figures sitting or standing by the bed. Some had concern in their eyes, but one had glasses and a stern expression on his face that made my blood run cold. There was someone with him wearing a dark red suit standing in the corner.

“Ikari shall we call this a success?”

“The angel is defeated, and the pilot is still alive. Hopefully his next battle fairs better. That is all that matters.”

Somedays it felt like I was awake for the whole day, other times I opened my eyes for a few seconds only to wake up a day or two later. 

Finally, one day I opened my eyes to feel stings all over my body, and I saw a dozen or so puffs of gauze and wrapping all over my body some were white and pristine other were stained a dull red.

“He’s finally awake!” looking to my right I saw a relieved smile and to my left I saw a blank expression with red eyes.

“H-h-how long was I out?”

“You were unconscious for four weeks.” Rei said in her trademark monotone voice.

“Yeah Nathan you missed a bunch of stuff.” Shinji said, “We’re glad to see that you’re okay. Rei here hardly left your side.”

Looking over at her I asked, “Is that true?”

“Yes, I promised to watch you until you were better.”

“Thank you, Rei.”

“What did I miss? Shinji?”

“Well the second child finally arrived, and me and her fought a giant sea monster angel. So that a was a highlight.”

“What’s she like?” I asked clearing my throat.

“Well… she can be a bit much. She only came to visit you once, and even then, she mocked you. Saying something about how you got your ass kicked royally during your debut.”

“Debut… what does she think this is? Some kind of game?” Groaning I shimmied up the blanket slowly sliding down to my waist revealing all of the battle wounds I got.

Shinji’s face started to blush, “What’s wrong?” I asked trying to figure out what could be making him uncomfortable.

“You are undressed Nathan.” Rei chimed in flatly. Looking down I saw that she was right, letting out a yelp I twisted around quickly and grabbed the pillow I had been laying on and covered my stomach and crotch up. I let out a small high-pitched whimper, “What is wrong?”

“I think I just tore all my stitches up Rei.” Groaning my eyes went all wide.

“Move the pillow, oh yeah. Yeah you did. Lay down flat now! Rei put pressure on his cuts, I’m gonna go get a nurse.”

“But- “Shinji didn’t even wait for her reply he had already bolted out of the door, while she stood there trying to protest. “I don’t like blood.”

“It’s okay Rei you don’t have to do this, just sit here please.”

“No, my job is to protect you and Shinji. It is our job to keep one another safe.” She stood up slowly and leaned forward plucking up gauze from the medical tray near me she placed the wads on the areas that were bleeding the most and put pressure on them. She saw me grimacing a bit and she eased off a bit, I didn’t say anything I just stared into her eyes.

“What is the matter?

“Nothing it’s just your eyes. They’re so…”

“Ugly?”

“What?”

“I do not like my eyes, they are red the same color as blood.” 

“Well if it’s worth anything I like them Rei.” She made a small choking noise as a tinge of pink appeared over both of her cheeks.

Just then the door whooshed open and a nurse came by she sent Rei and Shinji out into the halls, more staff followed in shortly and they got to work fixing up my stitching. It was almost another week until I was discharged and able to go home, but even then, I still had patches of gauze on my arms. 

The first night in my apartment felt odd, it was alien. Usually something like it would have been calming but in the time, I was gone, it had gathered more dust and filth. That smell was still there, and the ramen I had bought was way past its best by date. The shower curtain was still on the floor, it was only then did I realize that the rings were still on the rod and the curtain was ruined.

At that point I’d rather have been anywhere else, but no particular place excited me enough to leave the house, no place seemed like it would get me out of my rut. Closing my eyes, I decided to go to bed, feeling somewhat excited about going to school tomorrow and seeing what’s changed. The next day all my stitching had fallen out on its own, as it trickled down the shower drain, I saw the reddish-purple welts that were covering my body.

I let out a soft half chuckle, I knew this job was going to be a bit hazardous to my health, I just didn’t know it would be this bad. As I shakily got dressed, I again adopted my style. Black shoes and pants with a black undershirt tucked into it. A black belt going around my waist the excess hanging as loose as the white short-sleeve unbuttoned shirt.

Just as I was about to walk out the door, I saw Rei standing outside, her arms crossed over her chest holding her school bag in front of her legs. Her hair fluttered slightly in the breeze over her stoic face, “Good morning. Are you feeling better?”

“Morning… and yeah, my stiches just came out this morning. Uh- how are you doing?”

“Fine… Shinji and I have our third date later this week.”

“Oh.” I felt a slight gut punch, I guess he asked her out. I did say it was okay, besides what was I gonna do? I was unconscious for four weeks.

“We should head off to school before we are late.”

“Alright after you.” As we walked down the stairs, she paused for a second, making me almost bump into her. “Rei, what’s wrong?”

“Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure, thing Rei, you saved my life. I kind of owe you.”

“Can you come by my house after school, I would like your help with something.”

“Sure, I’ll help you with whatever.”

“Nathan, I have one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you say you are not worth saving? Why do you not want Shinji or I to risk our lives saving you?”

I stood there quietly as she stared at me, the plinking of water could be heard in the distance. “Because I’m not, I’m dishonest and I don’t improve the lives of others in anyway. I’m a terrible pilot anyways, I got my ass handed to me on my first day. The two of you could’ve died trying to help me. And I guess… I like the two of you guys. The last thing I want to see is the two of you die for me and then I have to live on, knowing someone better checked out while I stay here.”

“Do you fear death?”

“More than anything yes.”

She stood there silent for a minute, “We should get going to class before we are late.”

We rode the train in silence after that, it wasn’t until we reached the classroom door and tried to enter at the same time bumping into each other’s shoulders getting wedged in the door did we talk again. “Sorry you first, Rei” was the last thing I said to her. 

“Well, well, well. Looks who’s back from the dead!”

“Told ya he’d make it out Toji! You owe me 5,000 yen!” Kensuke shouted excitedly. Everyone else seemed be staring for a second, I guess they were happy that I wasn’t dead. 

Giving a quick smile I walked over to the trio, “Glad to see you’re back Nathan. You feeling alright?”

“Yeah Shinji, just a little sore all over. But you know what, it feels good to be back.”

Kensuke slid into me bumping my shoulder, “Hey me and Toji managed to sneak out of the bunker and catch some of the fighting on tape. You may want to watch it so you’re better prepared for next time.”

“Yeah, hey. Nathan… if people start to talk crap about you, don’t listen to them. Just point them my way and I’ll sock them good… they don’t know what it’s like in one of those things.” 

Raising an eyebrow at him I asked, “How do you know what it’s like in an EVA Toji?”

Kensuke lowered his face, Toji wet his lip and told his story, “Before me and Kensuke made friends with Shinji, we kind of snuck out of a bunker… and like last time it was all Kensuke’s idea.”

“Hey, don’t blame me, like you tried to stop me. You wanted to see Shinji in action just as much as me!”

“I only went along with you because I knew you wouldn’t stop bugging me. Anyways, Shinji crash landed near us and that angel attacked us. Then Shinji’s tube popped out and we got in with him so he could safely kick that angel’s ass. The point is… we saw what it was doing to Shinji, and we can’t imagine what it was like for you.”

“I think what Toji is trying to say Nathan is… we have your back. Because that’s what friends do right?” The both gave me a smile and a held a handout, taking their hands one at a time I clasped it tight and we gave each other a slap on the back, and I felt a warm comforting glow in my chest.

“You know things, seem to be going good for once. I wonder how they’ll change up?” I said feeling content.

“Guten morgen everybody!” A voice filled with an unbearable amount of pride and self-absorption that went up and down in pitch entered my ears making me physically wince.

“Oh, dear god. Who is that?” I asked covering my ear canals to stop any more of that voice from entering my head.

“That… is the new EVA pilot.” Toji said groaning and rolling his eyes, “And just between you and me.” He added whispering, “She is a major bit- “

He didn’t get to finish whatever he was gonna say because at that moment a book bag swung across and nailed him in the face knocking him to the ground. “So, you’re the sixth child the one who was out of commission. The one from America, ha! About time they contribute to this fight.”

She pointed at me accusingly standing on her toes in an effort to look taller than me, I wasn’t even sitting in my chair I was just sitting on the desktop. “Uh- yeah. That’s me… and you are?” 

“Humph! Like you didn’t know, Asuka Langley Soryu, the second child and the best Evangelion pilot in the world, pilot of Unit 02 the first real Evangelion made for combat. How does it feel to be near greatness?”

I instantly sized her up and realized this was gonna be long and unbearable, but even though I knew who she was before I figured I’d mess with her all the same. Making a frown and slowly shaking my head side to side I said, “Yeah… sorry never heard of you. Are you sure you’re as big of a deal as you think you are?”

All the color drained from her face until it turned into a tomato red, her eyes grew wide and she bared her teeth. Toji and Kensuke sat there gasping covering their mouths, Shinji made the mistake of snickering. “Shut up idiot Shinji! God! Look I don’t know who you are, but you’ll see that I’m a better pilot then you’ll ever be.”

Why was I doing this, what compulsion was making me do this.

“Fine, I’ll keep my eyes open for that day, don’t keep me waiting.”

She turned on her heel and stamped away, sitting next to the class rep Hikari Horaki who instantly began to chat with her in an attempt to calm her down, by the dirty looks they were sending my way it was safe to assume that they were talking about me.

“Man, I wouldn’t want her as an enemy. You just might have made your life hell Nathan.” Kensuke muttered taking his seat just as the old teacher walked in, “All rise, bow!” Horaki’s orders fell on deaf ears.

“Yeah things here just got a lot more interesting.” I said sliding into my chair.  
Just as the teacher was passing around copies of ratty books with a giant cockroach on the cover, Shinji looked at me. “Hey Nathan.”

“What’s up Shinji?”

“You think things are gonna get worse from here?”

Clicking my tongue, I tried to find an answer to please him. I didn’t want my pessimism to bleed out and infect him, “You know Shinji… let’s just take it one day at a time. I guess that’s all we can do.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

END OF PART 1

**Author's Note:**

> sorry it was short, but don't worry i'm working on the next part and since i do nothing but live in my head I've got plenty of ideas


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